what to do in case of an iceburg on 2007-03-03

Shit. I've been laying in bed forever. About a 1001 things running through my head, and I don't know which one to do first.

Becca woke me. She wants me to come over. Her Mom's gone for the weekend.

That can only mean one thing. I think, but then maybe I'm not thinking exactly what she wants me to think.

No, she's thinking what I think she's thinking. The signs are all there. Its about to happen, and I can't find a reason for it not to happen.

But then again, I might be wrong. I can be wrong about so many things and then you just want to hit your head against the wall.

I really think we need a good discussion before things go any further. Not a fight. Just a chance to clear the air about excess baggage. Mainly, its me. Not her.

I don't have to know everything.

I just need a reason not to let things go on like this.

So she might end up hating me. And I can live with that. I think. I hope.

But then what if she gets a little crazy after that and well, makes things difficult.

Man, this is so much like walking in to a fire. I want to, but I don't. And I have to remember it would have been fucked up with Maybe, anyway.

I just don't know which one is more disturbed.

I don't freak'n want what I had with Maybe. It just left me confused for the most part. And I know now, that I was just this thing to her that just gave in when she wanted on occasion. And I don't want to be that guy.

I think Becca's got her act together. I don't want to question it, but I have too. I have to ask.

It might help if I had something to eat before I went over there, but I'm not hungry. I just want to get this over with.