misery loves company on 2007-03-17

Am I a bad person? Can I be unkind?

I really don't know, lately.

I couldn't sleep last night. I hardly managed to go to the museum yesterday with Becca to look at all these costumes from Period movies, like the Eurpoeans and Ever After. She loved it. I could really careless about it.

How could I've screwed this up so badly? I am not a wise person. Why did I ever get mixed up with Maybe in the first place?

I want to believe she's doing this to me to get back at me. She wants me to feel miserable.

I mean, she was the one who let go first, and now its as if she didn't let go at all.

What happened? Where's this Dickie guy?

Her sister told me sometime ago when she was at the library. Last week, perhaps...(I wasn't exactly listening).... There was nothing going on. It didn't amount to anything. How would she know, they don't really talk?

I never got that impression. She was crazy about him. Maybe a little too crazy. Evidently, she just couldn't be her true self around him. I'm thinking now.

I hate this. I don't want to think about her. I've got to call her. I want to know. Is it even true. It couldn't possibly true.

I can't stand this feeling that she's sucked my insides out and has them on display somewhere on the internet. Or better yet, in a jar by her bed and everytime she looks at it she just smiles.