fizzling fast yet slowly on 2007-03-18

I haven't felt all that great so I didn't do much last night. We did make it over to Steph's for sort of a party. It was low key and nobody got drunk. Ok, Steph was getting giggly, but she was the only one.

Too much on my mind, I guess.

Almost called Maybe yesterday, but I ended up calling an old friend, Harley. I was going to tell her what was going on, but I didn't because she's so excited about starting classes this summer in some medical field I never heard of. She was too happy to bring down. It was sweet to talk to her. It had been a while. I'm happy for her.

Naturally, Becca has been all affectionate, and I'm being the ball and chain.

I'm trying to figure out what to do. And its the timing part thats the hardest.

A part of me feels like I'm going to explode. Then there is a part that feels so dazed about all this. And I want to be in the moment with Becca. It just doesn't seem possible, though.

She knows something is bothering me. I just told her I thought I might be sick.

I'm not sure if I threw up last night because I really am sick or the idea of having to make some sort of peace with Maybe.