ugh on 2007-04-10

The fact remains, I've really been using my nogg'n (is that a real word?) when it comes to Becca.

Most of it has to do with what went wrong with Maybe. I never want to have anything like that again with someone.

So..so you see, I didn't let Becca have her way with me, when I could have. And now...

Now I want her to have her way with me. God, I've been around too many women at work and I sound like Steph.

But its true.

You know, she kept hinting and hinting how much she wanted to move in with me for..well, that was weeks ago, and I was just getting settled in to this place and you know, it was not easy. The whole Maybe fiasco. And is that what I really want with naked Kyle around?

And I kept telling myself, be a good boyfriend, if thats what Becca needs right now. Show her a good date, for heaven's sakes. This girl has been through, lord knows what with cheating boyfriends and shit like that.

Now it just makes my stomach hurt thinking about it. It was as if I was somebody else. So now its like, she's somebody else, too.

But the body can only last so long. And you know what they say, old habits are hard to break.

Bad me is saying, "you want sex, you know you want it." Then the good me is saying, "How could you? She's fragile. You're an idiot if you ruin this now."

She can play Avril all night, I just need sex. And a handjob can only go so far.

Sorry for being a freak'n bastard.